Hurrying Through

I have come to a startling conclusion about my life. I have been hurrying through, always chasing what looks better than the stage of life I'm in.  For example, days spent with kids playing noisily all around me are spent in frustration and anger, desperately wishing for bedtime to come as quickly as possible.  In feeling like this, I am missing out on so many good things...hugs and "I love yous" from my husband and kids, chances to read endless stories, laughing at bedtime tickles...just laughter and fun.  I don't like the person I'm becoming.  I'm losing interest in desires I once had...hanging out with my man and our kids, studying God's Word, prayer, keeping myself together physically and emotionally.  I miss the person I could be, if that even makes any sense at all.  I'm thirty-five now and I feel as though life has been happening all around me and I've somehow missed it.  Because even though I've been there, I haven't really been there.

 I'd like to share an excerpt from a book I'm reading called "The Resolution for Women" that really hit me right between the eyes.  When I first read it, tears sprang to my eyes as the Holy Spirit convicted me that "this is me".  In the book, the author writes, "I recognized that by rushing through life, I'd been subtly devaluing those around me and the experiences I was involved in, not appreciating the importance and significance they bring at this very moment, not grasping my responsibility for holding dear and treating well these gifts God has entrusted to me. Instead of embracing the priviliege of being a blessing to my husband, my children, my friends and others, I'd been quietly communicating that I wanted them to change and speed up, to get busy being somebody else, someone who's more in line with what I want and need, to hurry along to a place where they could make me happier than they currently do."  OUCH!

God, my heart is broken as I cry out to You in this moment.  Help me break this cycle of discontentment in my spirit.  I want to be happy...really, truly happy.  Help me to gather up all the good things around me and to begin enjoying the journey of my life.

Until the world sees and is amazed by His awesomeness!!!