It's 9am on Monday. I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I feel compelled to write...to try this journaling thing again. So much in my head on this cold, snowy morning. And yet...nothing. How can this be? Maybe it's a mom thing. I can get so consumed with everything around us that it all becomes incredibly jumbled up in my mind that I can't think straight, and sometimes I forget completely who I am as a person, as a woman. Anyway...
We had thirty-five people at our house last night for dinner. Thirty-five! What an amazing time of fellowship, of belonging! I haven't felt that way in so long. It's actually been that way all weekend, oddly enough. Friday night I was invited to a craft-y, scrapbook-y thing at church. It wasn't a church organized event. Just six women getting together to hang out and scrapbook. And while I don't scrapbook, I had a great time just being invited into these women's lives, their hobbies, their circle of friendship. It makes me wish I had a hobby. I haven't had time to develop a hobby in years. What do I even like to do? Eh, I'll figure that out later... however, what I can tell you is that I enjoyed that two and a half hours on Friday night so much, I think I'll just take a coloring book and crayons along with me next time just to be a part of a group of ladies (all moms) who are just seeking solace and friendship in a "kid free" zone!
Rick (my amazing, godly husband) preached at church this weekend on discipleship and the cost and call of following Christ. He mentioned that our lives should be spent living as mirrors that reflect the person and character of God. It's true that I have somehow become a person who wants to reflect my own "awesomeness" to everyone around me and then I hope and pray that they too will somehow see my "awesomeness" and be amazed! What a joke! As if I really have anything to offer in this life without Christ being revealed and lived out through me!
So today, in all humility, I begin a public diary of my journey to begin to live life from the other side of the mirror. This is not done to be known, but in an effort to make the Savior who has been so much to me known.
Until the world sees and is amazed by HIS awesomeness!
"O Lord, my God, teach my heart this day where and how to see you, where and how to find you. You have made me and remade me, and you have bestowed on me all the good things I possess, and still I do not know you. I have not yet done that for which I was made. Teach me to seek you, for I cannot seek you unless you teach me, or find you unless you show yourself to me. Let me see you in my desire; let me desire you in my seeking. Let me find you by loving you; let me love you when I find you."
-Anselm, Italian monk (1033-1109)
Andrea,I enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to reading more.I am so thankful that God has put you and Rick in a new place of service and that you now have friends that you can fellowship with.I know it has been a long time since you have had this.I pray that through this blog,people will see the reflection of our Savior through you.Love you,Aunt Nelda
ReplyDeleteThank you, Aunt Nelda. We're doing well here. We are developing some friendships. We had some great friendships at Riverside with people I miss a ton, but it's definitely easier to get together with people up here. Everyone lives close by. But the littles and I do enjoy having play dates with our Riverside friends. It's good that we're still so close in proximity.
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