Everybody Needs a Rock

This morning, Emilie found a book in the Apple Cinnamon Cheerios box.  I didn't think they put prizes in cereal boxes anymore, but I'm pretty sure with the morning I've had, God put it there just for me.   The book is called "Everybody Needs a Rock".  It's not in any way a spiritual book.  It's actually a book written from a kid's perspective on how to find the perfect rock for a pet.  Silly, I know.  But I couldn't help reading through it with a spiritual set of glasses on, so to speak.

My heart is literally breaking as I write this.  I'm overwhelmed with the struggles and hurts of people around me.  Last night, I was asked the question, "Mom, will you be mad if I get a D in Reading?"  This question was asked at 9:00 pm by my straight-A student daughter.  Through the next hour of her meltdowns and her father and I trying to talk through this with her, we uncovered some life-lesson issues.  Wow!  This conversation caused me to think about my own life and what I've portrayed to my kids. Am I smarter than a fifth-grader?  Maybe not so much...

Sometimes, I don't take responsibility for my actions.  Over the years, I've made some choices that have greatly affected my family, and NOT for the better.  Most of the time, I didn't take responsibility for my part in those decisions until it was too late to fix them.  By God's grace, He is continuing to work on me (thank You, Jesus for being willing to continue to work on this frail, very human individual), and together with Him, I'm beginning to heal and believe it or not, He's fixing some of those bad choices!

Another shocker is that I have a problem with procrastination.  I know.  I said it was a shocker!  I've always been that way.  If my parents ever read this, they'll be nodding their heads in agreement as they remember all the fights about cleaning my room and doing chores and homework.  Sometimes our procrastination and lack of responsibility catches up with us...as Emilie is discovering today.  But the thing that broke my heart last night was discovering that my beautiful daughter is beginning to let others define her. She's afraid that others will think she's stupid if she gets a D.

Rick said some very profound things to Emilie last night in the quietness of that moment that have impacted me today.  My identity is found in Christ, not in how others see me.  There will always be someone that I think is prettier or smarter or more talented that I am, but that doesn't make me ugly, stupid or incapable.  I have to learn not to give others the power to define me.  They will inevitably do a horrible job at it!

Have you ever been so burdened for another person's spiritual walk that you say and do all the wrong things to get your point across?  Someone incredibly close to me is struggling today with feeling God's presence and knowing His will and why He wills certain things.  Does it ever bother you that God's plans for your life seem to be completely opposite your own?  Why does He place certain people in certain places?  Why do other people seem to be able to do so much more for God's Kingdom that we can?  How can you know for sure that God placed you somewhere and you didn't work it out on your own?

I was reading in First Timothy this morning and I came across this verse, "Do not neglect the gift you have." (4:14)  It's under the heading in my ESV Bible A Good Servant of Christ Jesus.  I think it comes down partially to your gifts.  The Lord has given each of us specific giftedness to be used for His purpose and His Kingdom.  There are definitely times when I wish I was gifted for something else...something more important than what I'm called to.  Who doesn't want to be remembered for doing something great and for being a huge asset in the Kingdom?   Up in verse 7 of the same chapter it reads, "Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come...For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people..."  Godliness is never accidental.  You have to work at it...like exercise, ugh.  If I'm not careful, I will drag myself so far down a hole with needing to be more (for myself, mostly...I just disguise it as being for God) that it feels like I'll never get back to a good place.  Then I either give up, or when I do eventually claw my way out, I feel like I'm too dirty to go to God.  Do you think the Lord ever just wants to reach down physically, pick us up (and shake us sometimes), then dust us off and set us right again?  Oh, if only I could just remember who I am in Him and how much He loves me...

What does this have to do with needing a rock?  For me, Christ is my rock.  When I feel like I have no other friends, I have my Rock.  When I can't stand anymore because I'm too weary to walk on in this journey, I rest on my Rock. When I'm in the middle of a spiritual wasteland, I take shade in the shadow of my Rock.  And like the Israelites in the desert, I receive nourishment and refreshment from my Rock.

Everybody needs a Rock. I'll share mine with you...

Until the world sees and is amazed by HIS awesomeness!